If only I knew how to talk about sex

What did I just read and what did I just see? Is this for real? 

There is a photograph of a couple ( man and woman) on top of each other which is being circulated on social media. It is apparently from a book. The excerpt  underneath the photograph reads: “ this is called, making love, your dad moves his penis inside your mum’s vagina until it squirts some special stuff into her. That’s when they stop making love, because it is very tiring and they’ve had enough.”

I am searching for the name of the book and author but from what I have read, it is targeted at primary school students. If it is in fact genuine, I must say that I have my concerns. 

In the event that it is fictitious, my message still applies as it serves as a warning to parents and caregivers to be vigilant about the books their children read. Just because a book falls under the category of ‘children’ does not mean it is suitably relevant to your child. You need to pay attention to the contents and ensure it meets with your family values and beliefs. 

Just because it is good for Gregory doesn’t make it okay for Georgie! Just as it it is your responsibility to check the food and drinks consumed by your child; it is equally your duty to observe what information your child ingests. 

The famous adage ‘do not judge a book by its cover’ springs to mind. Applying it to my message, I will add, do not just pay attention to the title of the book and its classification, check the contents, do not make assumptions particularly if you are unsure about the book or information contained therein. Satisfy yourself with the information first before passing the book or materials to your child. 

As much as I am an advocate for teaching our young children about sex, I am uncomfortable with the way this is written and the accompanying photograph.

Sex education for primary  school children does not require an in-depth tutorial of love making in addition to a photograph of a couple engaged in the act. 

My concerns are not based solely on the need to protect children’s innocence or to wrap them in cotton wool but more about providing age appropriate and reasonable information. 

We live in a sexualised society, intentional and responsible parents want to equip themselves and their young ones with the knowledge and desired skill set to conquer the world we live in. However, the efforts being made to impart knowledge and skills must be relevant and age appropriate.

What use is it explaining the act of love making to a 6 year old or even a 10 year old? I believe they don’t need such information at that age. If your primary school age child asks about love making, you can explain that it is an act between consenting adults who love each other and understand what’s involved in the concept. There is no need to shut up the young inquisitive mind. You can give a response that points to the fact that it is for adults and will become clearer to them when they are older, emotionally stable and competent to handle it. 

Parents and caregivers should learn how to effectively communicate with their children. How to talk to children is different from how to talk to adults. Just a quick reminder: teaching a child sexuality education must be age appropriate. 

Children have different learning models, find out the one suitable for your child. Some of the ways children learn are by watching, questioning, listening, doing and even metaphors. What you teach the child is as important as how you pass that message across. Imagine a child learning sex education by gleaning colourful pages of books demonstrating couples engaging in the act of sex? The innocent mind may one day decide to replicate that which he/she read in a book. What will you do then? Who will you blame? The so-called teacher, the author or…..? 


Parents and caregivers should be mindful of the materials and information absorbed by their children in the name of reading and increasing their knowledge. The fact that a book has been approved to be used in a school does not automatically mean it is beneficial to your child’s needs. If you have questions or concerns, do not be afraid to raise it with the appropriate person. 

Let’s be watchful and pray! 

By the way, have you read my book ‘It is Okay to Wait’ ? If not, why not? A book endorsed by Radio Essex. In the book, I deal with how to explain love making to a young person. I have deliberately avoided expanding on this issue here as you need to read my book for tips on how to handle this issue which some parents regard as sensitive and embarrassing. 

Grab a copy fast! If you are still unsure, listen to my interview with Radio Essex to find out more. You can also check the review on Amazon. 

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